As we look to the upcoming holiday, I ponder what memories and regrets are made. My suspicion is that Charlie Brown is lurking. Good grief, like good guilt, comes from respect, even admiration, for what we have received from the deceased. Bad grief, like bad guilt, involves a pre-occupation with, even disdain for, what/who is lost. Frankly, it is the difference between fond memories and bitter regret.
I believe that when we grieve, we are really mourning the lost opportunity to return the amount of love we have received. Isn't that why, especially after the monumental loss of lives on 9/11, we were reminded to let those we love and appreciate know every day, even first thing in the morning, that our lives are better because they live. But our lives are not worse if they should die; not if we hold onto the memories and dispel the regrets.
Or, as I have heard it told; live happily, rather than "if only", ever after!
